I thought long and hard about this post and at first I thought about picking a few cheery, happy quotes and pretending like they were my favourites because it would save a lot of explaining. Then I decided, screw it, I am who I am and so here they are. My favourite quotes. They are almost all about suicide and this is because it’s a subject I think of quite often due to being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and a few other things that I’d rather not mention. It not so much that I like these quotes. More that I can relate and I feel like the authors ‘get’ me.
“Actually, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy.” – Susanna Kaysen, Girl Interrupted.
“It is not seen as insane when a fighter, under an attack that will inevitable lead to his death, chooses to take his own life first. In fact, this act has been encouraged for centuries, and is accepted even now as an honorable reason to do the deed. How is it any different when you are under attack by your own mind?” – Emilie Autumn, The Asylum For Wayward Victorian Girls.
“Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don’t kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, “He fought so hard.” And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.” – Sally Brampton, Shoot The Damn Dog: A Memoir Of Depression.
- “Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” – Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man.
This last quote is the one that strikes a chord most with me as just when you think you’re getting there…bam, your old friend, the black dog is there again.
I’m sorry that this is such a depressing post but I really felt that I had to be true to myself. This is how I feel a lot of the time. Thankfully, reading helps to take my mind off of things, stops me ruminating and allows me to escape, even if it is just for a little while.