I’ve followed Justin Halpern’s Twitter account and Facebook page for a while now and was so excited to read this book. A close childhood friend of mine has a hilarious Dad and this book reminds me of sleepovers at her house and car rides with her and her Dad.
My favourite gems from Mr Halpern senior are:
- “I don’t give a shit how it happened, the window is broken… Wait, why is there syrup everywhere? Okay, you know what? Now I give a shit how it happened, Let’s hear it.”
- “Why would you throw a ball in someone’s face?…Huh. That’s a pretty good reason. Well, I can’t do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.”
- “That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won’t screw you. Don’t do it for them.”
- “If you work hard and study hard. And you fuck up. That’s okay. If you fuck up and you fuck up, then you’re a fuckup”
- “If it’s not bourbon or sweatpants, it’s going in the garbage…. No, don’t get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.”
- “Listen up, if someone is being nice to you, and you don’t know them, run away. No one is nice to you just to be nice to you, and if they are, well, they can go take their pleasant ass somewhere else.”
I love how blunt and to the point Justin’s Dad is. He does not mince his words and gives not one flying f*ck what anyone thinks of him. I wish my Dad had been like this. In fact, I think most people would love to have a Dad like this. One who doles out great advice but isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re being a douche. The relationship between Justin and his Dad is fantastic. They bicker and argue but his Dad genuinely loves him a huge amount and it’s obvious that Justin loves him. I mean, he’s dedicated the last few years to tweeting and facebooking about him. They clearly have a huge amount of respect for each other too, which comes through very well in this book.
I hoped this book wasn’t just going to be a Twitter feed transferred onto paper and I wasn’t disappointed. We get lots of little anecdotes and stories along the way and whilst being hilariously funny, it also feels like you are sat on the sofa with Justin’s family, reminiscing with them.
If you’re not easily offended, give this book a read!